shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I want to fling myself into the sun
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
