i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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