ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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