whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
