If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
