no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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