The maid of honor just puked.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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