I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
