And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
