i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
