forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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