it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize