would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
