I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
