No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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