At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize