I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
