OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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