Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
