I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize