I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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