it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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