This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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