butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
