Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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