Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm bleeding and have questions
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
