yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
