please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
