We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I need to sanitize my soul.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
