i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
