lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
