then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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