I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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