just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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