How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You brought string cheese to the strip club
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize