fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
