it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
