Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
