Just took my morning after pill in the library
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
