You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
