I need help removing her.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
