I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
