At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
