I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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