Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
