New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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