Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
