I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
