the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize