all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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