Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Shame - the story of my life.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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