i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
