I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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