Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
there's paper in my vomit.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
