i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
third nipple confirmed
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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