I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
