i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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