Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
