It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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