Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
