Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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