I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
