the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize