She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
