This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
