I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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