you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
