I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
