i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
