Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
