And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize