Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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