Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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