It's Friday. Sex?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
