can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
