I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
