return my video game
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
if only i could text you this smell
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
